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My Phoenician sailors, the most blood thirsty lot of the Mediterranean, took over Cornwall killing off my Saxons.  When they got finished my Romans invaded again to leave their mark.  It didn't end there as my Normans also took over England and murdered my Saxons.  My Saxons retailiated by living on in spite of two self invasions.  Meanwhile my Vikings invaded all the British Isles with their legendary grace and benevolence.  Once I regained control there one of my Norman's came with the Bruce to Scotland, took the name Johnstone, then fought his own Norman King and to not be outdone re-invaded England as a border Reiver raping and pillaging what I had just gotten under control.  Meanwhile on the other island my Irish were bombarded with Spanish Armada sinking ships so my Basques intermarried my Irish and made me Black Irish when I had one line not messed up.  Flying off the handle some of my English went to the colonies and invaded the Dutch while my French went to kill off thousands of beaver to the North.  It didn't take long until my Indians killed both my English and French.  Well, as my English never could get along, some of my Rebels threw me out to go live with my French who had to be arm wrestled for the territory.  After all this research I have saved myself millions in doctor's bills but I could have saved my time because all I learned was that I am exactly what people have always said I am.

(But now I can prove it)